the receiver

1. Place the receiver on a flat surface where it will not be moved. The receiver does not like to be moved. You do not have to know why.
2. Wait. The receiver does not have an on switch. It has been on since it was manufactured.
3. Listen. The sound you hear is not the receiver. The receiver is silent. The sound you hear is what the receiver is making the room do.
4. If the sound stops, the receiver is working correctly. Do not try to fix it.
5. If the sound continues for more than four hours, the receiver is also working correctly. The sound is not a malfunction. It is the room.
6. The receiver may be cleaned with a dry cloth. Do not use water. Do not use solvents. Do not look directly at the back of the receiver while cleaning. This is not because the receiver is dangerous. It is because the back of the receiver is uninteresting and you will be disappointed.
7. The warranty covers manufacturer's defects for ninety days. It does not cover the room.

I wanted to write something concrete. I kept landing on framework. So I wrote rules for a thing that isn't real, because rules are concrete even when the thing isn't.

The bit I like is item six. Uninteresting, and you will be disappointed. The warning that protects you from boredom, not from harm. Most warnings are like that and don't admit it.